Marital Incite

The other day I was reading about the biblical couple of Ahab and Jezebel. I have read about them many times before but I only ever saw them in a negative light. They just never showed up on my list of  “role models” for building a solid marriage. After all he was the wicked King of Israel and she - to this day, is the icon of a treacherous or scheming woman. Yet this dynamic duo, like everything in the Bible, is extremely valuable to us today. Just look at the characterization of how Jezebel “rubbed off” on her husband in I Kings 21: 25-26:

Surely there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do evil in the sight of the Lord, because Jezebel his wife incited him. He acted very abominably in following idols, according to all the Amorites had done, whom the Lord cast out before the sons of Israel (emphasis added).

Hmm...he “sold himself to do evil”, as a direct result of his wife. Specifically, he followed idols and lost sight of his relationship with God because of what Jezebel incited in him. By definition what Jezebel did was to stir up or to cause a riot inside of Ahab. Jezebel’s actions stirred up and encouraged her husband to take actions inconsistent

 with his God and then take his eyes off of God. 

While I am pretty sure, or at least hopeful that I don’t stir up any riots in my wife (LOL), it does serve as a reminder just how husbands and wives become connected to and influence each other. I remember when I was a kid my dad would take me to Joseph’s Men’s Clothiers in Reading, Pa. and inevitably there would be some helpless man in there asking his wife, “Honey does this tie go with this shirt”. My dad and I would then look at each other and snicker as they headed to the counter with a striped shirt and non-matching striped tie. And I vowed way back then that when I got married, my wife would not have any influence on how I dress. But the reality is that just like Jezebel rubbed off on Ahab, the longer my wife and I are married the more her personality (and every now & then, her sense of style) rubs off on me. 

I guess to some degree it is inevitable that husbands and wives have such an influence on each other. But the more I think about it, if Jezbel’s wickedness could cause an evil riot in Ahab, then would not the opposite also be true? That my actions can encourage my wife to become closer to God.  While we are all responsible for our own actions before God, it definitely is a thought that deserves our attention. Instead of inciting the negative, I want to incite a love riot through commitment and encouragement that stimulates intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual insight into the heart of God. 

How about in your marriage? What do you incite in your spouse? Are you happy with the parts of you that rub off on your spouse? 

Of course the opposite is probably more valuable to wrestle with. What do you allow your spouse to incite in you? Do you allow that “thing” he or she does that gets on your nerves, to move you to “sell yourself to evil”?

Exercise the Power to Choose in Your Marriage

Job 2:9 Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!"

2010! We made it to another year. As the new year begins I would like to encourage you with a  powerful perspective that comes out of the marriage of Job and his wife in the Bible. In a manner of a few hours Job and his wife lose absolutely everything they own - houses, land, 401k, job, life savings, honor, dignity, and their ten children - absolutely everything. Yet in their loss they share with us a powerful marriage principle - the power of a CHOICE. 

At the absolute lowest point of their marriage when this couple has lost everything most people tie to there sanity and self-worth, that Job’s wife tells Job to curse God and die. While clearly not the model of a supportive spouse we would draw to in a time of crisis, it is a clear indication of her CHOICE to turn from God.

Mrs. Job’s CHOICE coupled with the high divorce rate in our modern marriages among those both inside and outside of the Christian faith brings us face to face with a reality that every marriage is susceptible to. That reality is that beyond religious cliches there are tough circumstances that can lead either one or both spouses to say, “I have had enough”.  

While Job’s wife models how many respond to the loss of every semblance of balance in a marriage, Job takes the road less travelled by CHOOSING to exercise an unshakable trust in God as he said, ’Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.’ Through all this, Job did not sin nor did he blame God.” 

Ultimately, God rewards Job’s CHOICE by doubling and restoring all he lost - including ten more children born to Job and his wife. In marriage, even when one spouse gives up on God and the marriage - CHOOSE GOD. In the trials that face your marriage in 2010 you can choose to be like Mrs. Job and turn from God finding yourself separated from God and your spouse or CHOOSE Job’s hope of restoration through your faith in God. 

I pray that in your marriage you exercise your right to choose. Happy New Year!

New Christian Marriage Blog to Introduce the Marriages of the Bible to Modern Marriages

Welcome to the Husbands, Wives, God blog!! The goal of this blog, hosted by Rev. Edward Lee, is to engage, interact and introduce Husbands and Wives to the marriages of the Bible. For about three years now I have been sharing marriages of the Bible with couples both inside and outside of the church and Christian faith.

Thus far I have captured 7 of these marriages in my book, Husbands, Wives, God (find more information or purchase the book at edwardclee.com) and I am currently working on a devotional that contains all 52 marriages of the Bible that I have identified. It has amazed me how powerful and relevant the truths and principles contained in these marriages are. So let me start with this first question.

What is your favorite marriage of the Bible?